I couldn't agree more. Over a decade of professional training, teaching household finance and counseling with married couples has shown me that a healthy marriage requires open communications and teamwork, honesty and trust, not self-centered defensiveness.
The Relationship is Vital
Without communication there IS no relationship. Without a relationship, a couple is in a co-habitation situation, not a marriage. If there was just one piece of advice that I could offer you to make you more prosperous and happy this would be it: Communicate with your spouse about money. Often. Work hard to understand your spouse's fears, goals and desires and let yours be known. Spend as much time as it takes to understand each other and come to agreement regarding how your money will be spent, saved and given to others. Your marriage is worth it.
Men
Go back and read the relationship paragraph above again. We men must understand the importance of communication. We aren't often good listeners. We should lead in our homes by ensuring that this communication and teamwork occurs and by earning and keeping the trust of our spouse. That means we don't make large purchases, give large gifts, or make any major financial commitment without first seeking the counsel of our spouse. If you and your spouse cannot agree on it, don't do it.
Ladies
Ladies most always get the relationship part. No need to re-read that. Please do not listen to those radical feminists who tell you that you should always prepare for the possibility of a breakup. What they are missing is that when we marry, we become one flesh (Gen 2:24). To prepare for a breakup means never having been fully committed to the marriage in the first place. Like with the men, you must earn and keep the trust of your spouse by not hiding things from him. Cooperate with your husband to agree on how your money will be spent, saved and gifted. To lead separate financial lives is to invite disaster into our homes. Mark 3:25 says "A house divided will not stand".
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